MY APPROACH

In our session I am focused on you and your experience. We will work together to understand and explore your thinking, behaviors and feelings reflecting on your life experiences. Taking the first step to come to therapy can be daunting and as such asking for support can be stressful in itself and may make you feel vulnerable and self conscious. However, taking that first step may be the key to a new beginning.

I take an integrated and trauma informed approach to therapy involving concepts of mindfulness and solution-focused therapy and using a combination of techniques from cognitive behavioral, person-centered, strengths-based, neuroscience, and psychodynamic therapy. I emphasize coping strategies, interpersonal communication, self-compassion, acceptance and living in alignment with your values as the foundation for my clients’ wellbeing. I do my best to balance humour, compassion, guidance, intuition, confrontation, analysis, education and empathy. 

I am interested in how attachment wounds interfere with our well-being and relationships. I believe we heal fastest in relationships and that the therapeutic relationship is the most important element of successful therapy. 

For relationships and couples I operate primarily from the teachings of the Developmental Model of Couples therapy which emphasises attachment, neurobiology and differentiation. Couples who work with me will learn about their brains, their early adaptive behaviour decisions and the ineffective patterns in their relationship that keep them stuck.  

I value clients from all backgrounds and seek to understand the intersecting identities and context that each of my clients bring to the room.

 

Navigating the stages of love to build a happy partnership

 I have been studying with the Couples Institute for 2 years. This approach focuses on the growth and development of each partner individually in addition to the growth and development of the couple as a team. 

The premise of this approach is that couples evolve over time, as they progress they go through a series of predictable developmental stages that roughly parallel the stages of childhood development. 

The first stage is Bonding. This is the initial stage where the connection feels intense, exciting and idealized. Partners often feel a sense of harmony and emotional closeness, and there is a strong focus on attraction and bonding. During this phase, it's common for couples to overlook or minimize differences, as the relationship feels almost perfect. However, this phase is often short-lived, as the realities of daily life begin to surface.

The next stage is known as Differentiation. This stage is a critical and challenging time for many couples. As the initial idealization fades, differences in values, habits, and personalities can create tension. Conflicts may arise more frequently, and both partners might feel misunderstood or unappreciated. It's easy to fall into a cycle of blame or resentment during this stage, but it’s also a necessary part of relationship growth. This stage can look like a power struggle. Couples will be pushed to confront deeper issues, and navigating this phase successfully requires a willingness to work through conflict rather than avoid it.

After working through these early challenges, couples can move into the Practicing stage. Here, partners develop more effective ways of communicating, resolving conflicts, and managing their differences. There is a greater sense of understanding, and the emotional intensity of the power struggles begin to subside. Couples may feel more secure and comfortable with each other, learning to accept and appreciate their individual differences without letting them derail the relationship. During this stage a couple explores their independence, nurture outside friendships and spend time developing their self-esteem and competence in areas separate from the relationship. 

The Reconnecting stage marks a deepening of the relationship, where couples are more focused on long-term goals and shared values. There is a stronger sense of partnership and emotional intimacy, as both individuals feel fully accepted for who they are. They’ve moved past the turbulence of earlier stages and now enjoy a more balanced and enduring connection. A couple's sex life will deepen during this stage. 

Finally the Synergy stage represents the highest level of relational maturity. In this phase, couples experience a profound sense of collaboration and shared purpose. They not only support each other’s individual aspirations but also co-create a life together, blending their dreams, goals, and values. This stage is marked by a deep emotional bond, and couples often experience a sense of joy in both their personal lives and as a couple. The relationship is more resilient, and both partners feel deeply connected to each other, working as a team to create a fulfilling life together. In this stage the couple recognise that they are stronger together than each member is alone. 

For couples navigating these stages, it’s important to remember that each stage comes with its own set of challenges. Understanding where you are in your journey can help you manage the inevitable ups and downs with greater empathy and patience. With commitment, communication, and a willingness to grow, you can successfully move through each stage, building a deeper, more enduring partnership over time.

Drawing from a range of therapeutic approaches, cultural insights and life experiences, my approach offers a dynamic, personalized framework for each relationship. Instead of solely addressing the here-and-now I help you understand the developmental stages of your relationship. Together we identify where you are, how you have grown and what’s next in your journey towards a fulfilling and joyful partnership. 

One of the most transformative aspects of couples therapy is its ability to spark intra-psychic change - personal growth and emotional shifts within each partner - while working in the presence of the other. This process is not only powerful but often quicker than in individual therapy because of the unique dynamic created when both partners are in the room. 

Real-time feedback and reflection 

In individual therapy, insights about relationships are explored in the absence of the partner, requiring the client to imagine or reconstruct interactions. In couples therapy, the partner is present, allowing for immediate feedback, reflection and clarification. Misunderstandings and emotions triggers can be explored and resolved in the moment, accelerating personal and relational growth. 

With both partners present, it’s possible to create a safe space where vulnerability is encouraged. This safety allows each person to confront difficult feelings, acknowledge patterns and explore deeper emotional needs while feeling supported by their partners. This process can create profound emotional shifts that can be hard to achieve alone. 

 Whether you are looking for mental health support, psychotherapy, couples therapy or motivational coaching I offer a conversational approach to working through problems, life issues and goals. My hope is that through our meetings, we can work together to help you not only feel better but help you to live better as well.