MY APPROACH

My work is integrative, intuitive and relational, drawing from a wide range of evidence-based models. When you come to therapy with me, either on your own or with your partner, we use the conversation to explore what is happening - we work through difficult thoughts, feelings and experiences. We look at behavioural patterns and themes so that you can gain understanding and clarity and have more choice going forward. 

Talk therapy is not the same as talking to a friend or your partner. The focus is entirely on you and what you need, while I use my professional knowledge and experience to provide perspective, explore behaviours, maintain direction, and help you develop greater awareness, and choice. Sometimes we will also work on practical skills to help communicate, connect and relate differently. 

Talk therapy is a focused conversation between a trained therapist and a client.

As your couples therapist, my goal is to help you understand each other better, make changes that work for both of you, and give you tools you can use long after therapy ends. 

Every couple has their own reasons for seeking support, but most come looking for greater clarity, understanding and a closer connection. As the relationship changes, many also experience more joy, greater intimacy and sex, and a renewed sense of hope for the future.

Conversation is at the heart of couples therapy. You talk with each other, and with me. We sit together in my room, have a coffee or tea, in a relaxed and informal atmosphere. 

I help guide the conversation, and make sure you both have the space to be heard. I can also help translate difficult feelings or messages, so that what you are trying to say can be understood by your partner.

Because I am trained to listen for the nuances beneath what is being said, I can help you notice things that are difficult to see when you are caught in the moment. Together, we can uncover misunderstandings, unspoken feelings and the relational patterns that may be getting in the way of the connection you want.

I don’t believe in quick fixes. I believe in getting beneath the surface to understand what is driving the difficulties in your relationship and the patterns you find yourselves caught in.

The decisions you make should make sense for the two of you. Couples therapy is not about deciding who is right or wrong. It is about helping you understand yourselves and each other more deeply, take responsibility for your part in the relationship, and find new ways of relating so that life together can become better and more fulfilling for both of you.

How we can work together 

I expect you to come prepared to work—with yourselves or with each other. You don’t need to have been in therapy before, and you don’t need to know exactly what to expect from it. You are welcome to be curious, uncertain, or even sceptical about what therapy can offer. Together we will discover what it can do for you. 

There are different ways we can work together, depending on what is happening in your relationship and what you need. We can meet regularly for couples therapy, or, if you want more focused time to work on your relationship, you may find an intensive more helpful.

Regular sessions give you the opportunity to work on your relationship over time, practise new ways of communicating and responding to each other, and gradually make changes that can become part of everyday life.

An intensive gives you dedicated time to focus on your relationship without the usual interruptions of everyday life. It can be particularly useful when you are in a difficult period, feel stuck in the same patterns, or want to make a concentrated effort to change things. Intensives are designed for couples who want to dive deeply into the therapeutic work. You might choose an intensive:

• If you are in crisis, either personally or in your relationship, and need focused support
• You may feel stuck in unhelpful patterns that you have struggled to shift in standard therapy
• You may be facing a major life transition or decision and want clarity and direction
• It may suit you if you struggle to commit to weekly therapy due to work, travel, or lifestyle demands. Please inquire for more information. 

Navigating the stages of love to build a happy partnership

Relationships are not static. As we move through life together, our relationships change and evolve—and so do we.

The Developmental Model views a relationship as something that develops through a series of stages, each bringing its own opportunities, challenges, and developmental tasks. What worked well in one stage of your relationship may no longer work as your circumstances change. Moving in together, marriage, becoming parents, career changes, raising children, midlife transitions, or simply growing and changing as individuals can all shift the relationship and require you to find new ways of relating to one another.

Understanding the stage you are in can help make sense of why certain difficulties are emerging and what your relationship may need next. Rather than seeing these challenges as signs that something is wrong with your relationship, we can understand them as invitations to grow, adapt, and develop new skills together.

The first stage is Bonding. This is the initial stage where the connection feels intense, exciting and idealized. Partners often feel a sense of harmony and emotional closeness, and there is a strong focus on attraction and bonding. During this phase, it's common for couples to overlook or minimize differences, as the relationship feels almost perfect. However, this phase is often short-lived, as the realities of daily life begin to surface.

The next stage is known as Differentiation. This stage is a critical and challenging time for many couples. As the initial idealization fades, differences in values, habits, and personalities can create tension. Conflicts may arise more frequently, and both partners might feel misunderstood or unappreciated. It's easy to fall into a cycle of blame or resentment during this stage, but it’s also a necessary part of relationship growth. This stage can look like a power struggle. Couples will be pushed to confront deeper issues, and navigating this phase successfully requires a willingness to work through conflict rather than avoid it.

After working through these early challenges, couples can move into the Practicing stage. Here, partners develop more effective ways of communicating, resolving conflicts, and managing their differences. There is a greater sense of understanding, and the emotional intensity of the power struggles begin to subside. Couples may feel more secure and comfortable with each other, learning to accept and appreciate their individual differences without letting them derail the relationship. During this stage a couple explores their independence, nurture outside friendships and spend time developing their self-esteem and competence in areas separate from the relationship. 

The Reconnecting stage marks a deepening of the relationship, where couples are more focused on long-term goals and shared values. There is a stronger sense of partnership and emotional intimacy, as both individuals feel fully accepted for who they are. They’ve moved past the turbulence of earlier stages and now enjoy a more balanced and enduring connection. A couple's sex life will deepen during this stage. 

Finally the Synergy stage represents the highest level of relational maturity. In this phase, couples experience a profound sense of collaboration and shared purpose. They not only support each other’s individual aspirations but also co-create a life together, blending their dreams, goals, and values. This stage is marked by a deep emotional bond, and couples often experience a sense of joy in both their personal lives and as a couple. The relationship is more resilient, and both partners feel deeply connected to each other, working as a team to create a fulfilling life together. In this stage the couple recognise that they are stronger together than each member is alone. 

 Whether you are looking for mental health support, psychotherapy, couples therapy or motivational coaching I offer a conversational approach to working through problems, life issues and goals. My hope is that through our meetings, we can work together to help you not only feel better but help you to live better as well.